I'm a Traditional Kind of Girl

I am a traditional kind of girl. I prefer the same thing over something new. When it comes to trying something new, I cannot do it with ease. It takes convincing and time. I like my favorite restaurants, my favorite foods, my favorite candies, and my favorite brands. 


When I cut my hair, I stick with two styles: long with side-swept bangs and long layers, or a long bob with side-swept bangs.


I like to stick with family recipes instead of buying cookbooks or looking up recipes on the Internet. I prepare my favorite meals and rarely try anything else. It is almost a mental issue. My mind is already opposed to trying new things. New recipes, new meals, new foods, etc. 


So this new lifestyle change is killing me. Growing up in South Carolina, I went to the same doctor for most of my life. When we moved to North Carolina, I was skeptical about a new doctor, but I did not have a choice. I could not drive 10 hours there and back just to see "my" doctor. Now living in Maryland, finding a doctor that will take care of me is harder than ever. Being told that you have an illness that will "drastically change your life" is like a death sentence to me. For those who know me, they know I am not exactly the most healthy of eaters. I graze here and there. I would rather eat junk food over meals and I have a HUGE sweet tooth problem. 


I also have a problem with people not telling me the truth, or the whole truth. My doctors are neglecting to tell me my diagnosis. Which to me, is super frustrating. At the beginning of every test, the technicians would ask how long I have been diagnosed with Chron's or Celiac or Ulcerative Colitis. And I would stare blankly at them in utter confusion because I had not been diagnosed with any. I had only taken medication that treated that disease. So which is it? 


Based off the medication I am currently taking now, I am making an educated guess assuming that I have Chron's disease. Chron's is an autoimmune disorder meaning your body is attacking itself in the location of the digestive system. There is no way to cure Chron's disease, but merely learn how to manage the symptoms and flare ups. What causes it? Well the cause is unknown (yippee). Scientists lean towards genetics and environmental factors for the causes. It targets mainly Caucasians between the age of 15 to 30 years old. 


What next? The next step for me is to learn how to live with this disease (if I am diagnosed with it completely after my upper GI scope). Most people adjust their diets, take medication daily, and try to avoid stress. Ha. That is a joke. My life is full of stress. Stress from work, stress from school, stress from the wedding, stress about moving, the list goes on and on. And of course, there are always complications with the disease that could lead to more surgery. JOY!


How am I supposed to be positive about this? So many thoughts are racing through my mind! Am I going to pass this to my children? Do I need genetic counseling to have this gene removed so that my future children are not affected? (I already have to have genetic counseling for my IgA deficiency). How am I supposed to remove stress for my life? That means just sitting around and doing nothing forever? What about nursing school? Future nursing career? Moving from state to state with the military? I mean, it is almost impossible to remove all stress from my life. I am trying to be positive in that I do not need to change my ENTIRE diet compared to Celiacs where you cannot have anything with gluten. As long as I take my medication, I will be fine. 


This is basically my life in a nutshell right now. I feel like an old person because of how fatigued I am. I am putting all my energy into healing and the wedding. 


Tomorrow I have my upper GI scope which will determine if I have Chron's or not. Wish me luck! Because I am awfully tired of being stuck with needles!


Sayoonara