There has been one thing that I have learned over the past two months of my on going illness with my digestive system: trust. Trust that God is watching over me. Trust that I am going to be ok. And trust that I am going to make it out in this life.
It has been a constant struggle day to day. A struggle to live my life to the fullest and be happy every minute through it. And now my struggle is bearing down on those closest to me.
It's hard to face tomorrow, when you do not know what tomorrow brings. [Trust] Gets me through the day. [Trust] Gets me through the fear. [Trust] Gets me through the unknown. [Trust] Gets me through the pain.
It's hard to deal with this illness because during this journey, I have lost friends. People who did not want to be around me anymore because I was "always sick". Or that I was not fun to hang out with anymore because of being sick. Or that I complained too much about being sick. When it was friends that I needed the most to get me through this rough patch in my life. I am not bitter, or angry, or even spiteful towards those who walked out. I am glad that I found out who my true friends were, even though it was the hard way.
A little up to date on what is going on in my life. I am waiting for the doctors to figure out what is wrong. I am getting closer to answers, but it is somewhat scary. The answers I am getting closer to are not looking so great. Most of the treatments require surgery. To be honest, I am scared. It's hard to just [Trust] when so many things are unknown. When you do not know what your future holds for you.
So I leave you (and myself) with this:
"God you are my comfort when I am very sad... You are my comfort when I am afraid."
-Jeremiah 8:18
[Trust] That He will comfort you and carry you through your lowest points of your life.
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