There has been one thing that I have learned over the past two months of my on going illness with my digestive system: trust. Trust that God is watching over me. Trust that I am going to be ok. And trust that I am going to make it out in this life.
It has been a constant struggle day to day. A struggle to live my life to the fullest and be happy every minute through it. And now my struggle is bearing down on those closest to me.
It's hard to face tomorrow, when you do not know what tomorrow brings. [Trust] Gets me through the day. [Trust] Gets me through the fear. [Trust] Gets me through the unknown. [Trust] Gets me through the pain.
It's hard to deal with this illness because during this journey, I have lost friends. People who did not want to be around me anymore because I was "always sick". Or that I was not fun to hang out with anymore because of being sick. Or that I complained too much about being sick. When it was friends that I needed the most to get me through this rough patch in my life. I am not bitter, or angry, or even spiteful towards those who walked out. I am glad that I found out who my true friends were, even though it was the hard way.
A little up to date on what is going on in my life. I am waiting for the doctors to figure out what is wrong. I am getting closer to answers, but it is somewhat scary. The answers I am getting closer to are not looking so great. Most of the treatments require surgery. To be honest, I am scared. It's hard to just [Trust] when so many things are unknown. When you do not know what your future holds for you.
So I leave you (and myself) with this:
"God you are my comfort when I am very sad... You are my comfort when I am afraid."
-Jeremiah 8:18
[Trust] That He will comfort you and carry you through your lowest points of your life.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Life
"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sunday, January 29, 2012
You Say... God Says...
While in the hospital Wednesday, my fiance sent me this picture he found on the internet to calm my nerves and put me at ease. I was reminded that I am not alone in this journey, He is always with me. And He will get me through this trying and difficult time. Below are the verses typed out, a reminder of God's true love and testament that He knows what we are going through at all times. He cares about the small sparrow, and the one sheep that strays.
You say: "It's impossible."
God says: "All things are possible."
Luke 18: 27 "Jesus answered, 'The things impossible for people are possible for God.'"
You say: "I'm too tired."
God says: "I will give you rest."
Matthew 11: 28-30 "Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light."
You say: "Nobody really loves me."
God says: "I love you."
John 3:16 "God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him may not be list, but have eternal life."
You say: "I can't go on."
God says: "My grace is sufficient."
II Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, 'My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you.' So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me."
Psalm 91:15 "They say that the Lord is good. He is my Rock, and there is no wrong in him."
You say: "I can't figure things out."
God says: "I will direct your steps."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding. Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success."
You say: "I can't do it."
God says: "You can do all things."
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength."
You say: "I'm not able."
God says: "I am able."
II Corinthians 9:8 "And God can give you more blessings than you need. Then you will always have plenty of everything-- enough to give to every good work."
You say: "It's not worth it."
God says: "It will be worth it."
Romans 8:28 "We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love im. They are the people he called, because that was his plan."
You say: "I can't forgive myself."
God says: "I forgive you."
I John 1:9 "But if we confess our sins, he will forgive our sins, because we can trust God to do what is right. He will cleanse us from all the wrongs we have done."
Romans 8:1 "So now, those who are in Christ Jesus are not judged guilty."
You say: "I'm afraid."
God says: "I have not given you a spirit of fear."
II Timothy 1:7 "God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control."
You say: "I am always worried and frustrated."
God says: "Cast all your cares on me."
I Peter 5:7 "Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you."
You say: "I'm not smart enough."
God says: "I give you wisdom."
I Corinthians 1:30 "Because of God you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God. In Christ we are put right with God, and have been made holy, and have been set free from sin."
You say: "I feel all alone."
God says: "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5 "Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be satisfied with what you have. God has said, 'I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.'"
You say: "I can't manage."
God says: "I will supply all your needs."
Philippians 4:19 "My God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need."
This pretty much says it all. God wrote this book over 2,000 years ago knowing full well what we would be thinking today. He wrote this to comfort us and encourage us to press onward. How amazing is it to be loved by someone who thought about MY individual future before I was even born, thousands of years ago?!! God is so good.
You say: "It's impossible."
God says: "All things are possible."
Luke 18: 27 "Jesus answered, 'The things impossible for people are possible for God.'"
You say: "I'm too tired."
God says: "I will give you rest."
Matthew 11: 28-30 "Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light."
You say: "Nobody really loves me."
God says: "I love you."
John 3:16 "God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him may not be list, but have eternal life."
You say: "I can't go on."
God says: "My grace is sufficient."
II Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, 'My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you.' So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me."
Psalm 91:15 "They say that the Lord is good. He is my Rock, and there is no wrong in him."
You say: "I can't figure things out."
God says: "I will direct your steps."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding. Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success."
You say: "I can't do it."
God says: "You can do all things."
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength."
You say: "I'm not able."
God says: "I am able."
II Corinthians 9:8 "And God can give you more blessings than you need. Then you will always have plenty of everything-- enough to give to every good work."
You say: "It's not worth it."
God says: "It will be worth it."
Romans 8:28 "We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love im. They are the people he called, because that was his plan."
You say: "I can't forgive myself."
God says: "I forgive you."
I John 1:9 "But if we confess our sins, he will forgive our sins, because we can trust God to do what is right. He will cleanse us from all the wrongs we have done."
Romans 8:1 "So now, those who are in Christ Jesus are not judged guilty."
You say: "I'm afraid."
God says: "I have not given you a spirit of fear."
II Timothy 1:7 "God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control."
You say: "I am always worried and frustrated."
God says: "Cast all your cares on me."
I Peter 5:7 "Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you."
You say: "I'm not smart enough."
God says: "I give you wisdom."
I Corinthians 1:30 "Because of God you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God. In Christ we are put right with God, and have been made holy, and have been set free from sin."
You say: "I feel all alone."
God says: "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5 "Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be satisfied with what you have. God has said, 'I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.'"
You say: "I can't manage."
God says: "I will supply all your needs."
Philippians 4:19 "My God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need."
This pretty much says it all. God wrote this book over 2,000 years ago knowing full well what we would be thinking today. He wrote this to comfort us and encourage us to press onward. How amazing is it to be loved by someone who thought about MY individual future before I was even born, thousands of years ago?!! God is so good.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
What's New
I have not posted since October and I feel lost. I have missed blogging, but due to certain events in my life I was unable to full commit to the life of a blogger. So much has happened since my last post. I learn new things daily. My Stella&Dot business had come through during my days of being tight on cash. Now it is more of a hobby than job. I love all my jewelry and I love being able to share it with other people. Looking into the future, I am hoping it will be a successful career down in Charleston when we move after graduation.
Speaking of graduation, we are only a few months out from the big day. I cannot believe that Adam's four years here are almost over. It has been wonderful, but my, won't I be glad when we can leave. Adam's good friend David has placed me in charge of planning their graduation party. I am glad they started me early! Because I have a lot on my hands right now.
And speaking of planning, wedding planning has been somewhat at a standstill. I am trying to get Adam to be more involved with the planning so I know what he wants and does not want. We do not have much more to go and only six months less, well less than that!
School started this past Wednesday and I am very excited for this semester. I applied to MUSC and I hear back from them in a few weeks. Crossing my fingers to an acceptance letter!
I'm off to enjoy a day of planning with my fiancé! :)
Speaking of graduation, we are only a few months out from the big day. I cannot believe that Adam's four years here are almost over. It has been wonderful, but my, won't I be glad when we can leave. Adam's good friend David has placed me in charge of planning their graduation party. I am glad they started me early! Because I have a lot on my hands right now.
And speaking of planning, wedding planning has been somewhat at a standstill. I am trying to get Adam to be more involved with the planning so I know what he wants and does not want. We do not have much more to go and only six months less, well less than that!
School started this past Wednesday and I am very excited for this semester. I applied to MUSC and I hear back from them in a few weeks. Crossing my fingers to an acceptance letter!
I'm off to enjoy a day of planning with my fiancé! :)
Friday, October 28, 2011
Stella&Dot: A New Beginning
Yesterday I decided to take a plunge into an unknown world, the world of independent sales. My good friend and future bridesmaid currently works for this fast growing, successful business. Her great sense of style and eye catching jewelry left a mark on me. I loved the look and I was curious about her career as a Stella & Dot Stylist. She was very informative and explained the inner workings of this successful, stay at home, do as you please career. Work as hard or a little as you please, it is up to you how much you make! I was instantly hooked and decided to sign up to become a Stella & Dot Stylist as well. So far it has been a wonderful opportunity. I will see how long it will last and if I can make it as a S&D Stylist. I hope I will be as successful as my wonderful sponsor and mentor! She has been so wonderful helping me out and I cannot wait to see where this new adventure will take me next!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Lucky Me
After spending a nice weekend in South Carolina to visit my family I was lucky enough to have my sister come up and stay with me for the weekend. I am so happy to have her here with me and to bond with her. I have missed having her in my life so it has been really nice being able to spend so much time with her lately. It is going to be tough to say goodbye when she leaves because I will not see her until Thanksgiving, but it was perfect.
Also on my arriving home from South Carolina, my sweet fiance surprised me with a wonderful birthday gift. I was not feeling well, so he was comforting me. He asked if we could go somewhere real quick before we went back to the house. Confused, I agreed without hesitation. He drove across the Severn towards the Naval Station. I asked where we were going and he replied with, "I need to pick something up from the NEX real quick before we head home." When parking the car I asked what we were here to get and he smirked at me with the reply, "Your birthday present." Excited, and anxious to see what he was getting me, I kind of skipped into the building. I walked towards the Vera Bradley section thinking he was going to buy me a bag and he laughed at me. At this point I was really confused. He said he was getting off really easy if that is what I really wanted he would get it for me. So I said no, and kept following him. My excitement was growing by the minute. We walked past the shoes, which was my second thought of what I would get. He walked right past that and continued on. By this time I was really confused. I was wondering what was going on. He walked towards the electronics, and on the inside I was screaming! I was for sure thinking I was getting an iPad. Squealing with delight I ran to the counter, but Adam walked past the counter walking to another isle. I followed him when he stopped in front of the Macs. I was so confused. He told me to pick one while explaining the specs for both. I could not breathe and I was literally freaking out. I could not believe my baby was buying me a MacBook for my birthday! Such a wonderful, loving fiance. I am such a lucky, lucky girl! :)
Also on my arriving home from South Carolina, my sweet fiance surprised me with a wonderful birthday gift. I was not feeling well, so he was comforting me. He asked if we could go somewhere real quick before we went back to the house. Confused, I agreed without hesitation. He drove across the Severn towards the Naval Station. I asked where we were going and he replied with, "I need to pick something up from the NEX real quick before we head home." When parking the car I asked what we were here to get and he smirked at me with the reply, "Your birthday present." Excited, and anxious to see what he was getting me, I kind of skipped into the building. I walked towards the Vera Bradley section thinking he was going to buy me a bag and he laughed at me. At this point I was really confused. He said he was getting off really easy if that is what I really wanted he would get it for me. So I said no, and kept following him. My excitement was growing by the minute. We walked past the shoes, which was my second thought of what I would get. He walked right past that and continued on. By this time I was really confused. I was wondering what was going on. He walked towards the electronics, and on the inside I was screaming! I was for sure thinking I was getting an iPad. Squealing with delight I ran to the counter, but Adam walked past the counter walking to another isle. I followed him when he stopped in front of the Macs. I was so confused. He told me to pick one while explaining the specs for both. I could not breathe and I was literally freaking out. I could not believe my baby was buying me a MacBook for my birthday! Such a wonderful, loving fiance. I am such a lucky, lucky girl! :)
Monday, October 10, 2011
Can I See Your ID?
21 at last. I have been waiting such a long time for this age. Today is such a milestone in my life. I am finally able to go out with my friends to bars! And drink legally! So exciting! I visited my first liquor store today called Total Wine and More! A cute wine and liquor store. It was like the Walmart of wine stores. They had everything that you could possibly imagine. Isles for chardonnay, red, white, dessert, pink, everything. They even had isles for beer! And a separate part of the store for liquor. It was so cute and I was so happy when I bought my first bottle of wine! Such a memorable moment!
The end of my vacation is near. Tomorrow I board the plane to return to Annapolis. I am sad to leave my family, but glad to get back to Adam and my puppy. The good news is my sister, Adam's mom, and grandmother will be up to visit on Friday. So I do not have to wait that long before I see my family. I am excited to go out in Annapolis with friends and family this coming weekend!
The end of my vacation is near. Tomorrow I board the plane to return to Annapolis. I am sad to leave my family, but glad to get back to Adam and my puppy. The good news is my sister, Adam's mom, and grandmother will be up to visit on Friday. So I do not have to wait that long before I see my family. I am excited to go out in Annapolis with friends and family this coming weekend!
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